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The Porcupine's Quill:
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 19, 2010
THE TRICKLE DOWN THEORY
by Arshad M Khan
"Son, it is as old as the ages."
"What is, Papasaurus?"
"What you are asking me about ... you see we are too big to fail ... we are a
vital cog in the wheel ... each of us."
"Who do you mean, Papasaurus?"
"I mean all of us -- the Bankosauruses, the Richosauruses, the Oilosauruses
... all of us. Without us the wheel of life would stop spinning. That is why we
deserve to eat the most That is why the gods in our heavens feed us the
most. And we, in our turn feed them ... and the plants beneath our feet. We
eat more, the plants eat more, the little animals eat more ... everyone is
happy."
Is that why there is an epidemic of obesity?"
"Perhaps! It is all a matter of self-control. You don't see too many
Richosauruses overweight. We like to put away what we can't eat -- we don't
waste it. That's why we are called Richosauruses."
"But Papasaurus, if the little animals are obese, aren't they eating too
much?"
"There you are! You have hit the nail on the head. That's why we base
distributions on percentages -- the more we've been eating, the more we
get to eat."
"But are the little animals that stupid ..."
"Shhh! We never call them that. We always say they know best, and then
they always elect one of a couple of our puppets we put before them. As
long as they think they are in charge, things will be fine ... Heh! Heh! Heh! ...
you see what I mean."
"I do, Papa ... Ha! Ha! Ha! ... I do!"
THE TRICKLE DOWN THEORY
by Arshad M Khan
"Son, it is as old as the ages."
"What is, Papasaurus?"
"What you are asking me about ... you see we are too big to fail ... we are a
vital cog in the wheel ... each of us."
"Who do you mean, Papasaurus?"
"I mean all of us -- the Bankosauruses, the Richosauruses, the Oilosauruses
... all of us. Without us the wheel of life would stop spinning. That is why we
deserve to eat the most That is why the gods in our heavens feed us the
most. And we, in our turn feed them ... and the plants beneath our feet. We
eat more, the plants eat more, the little animals eat more ... everyone is
happy."
Is that why there is an epidemic of obesity?"
"Perhaps! It is all a matter of self-control. You don't see too many
Richosauruses overweight. We like to put away what we can't eat -- we don't
waste it. That's why we are called Richosauruses."
"But Papasaurus, if the little animals are obese, aren't they eating too
much?"
"There you are! You have hit the nail on the head. That's why we base
distributions on percentages -- the more we've been eating, the more we
get to eat."
"But are the little animals that stupid ..."
"Shhh! We never call them that. We always say they know best, and then
they always elect one of a couple of our puppets we put before them. As
long as they think they are in charge, things will be fine ... Heh! Heh! Heh! ...
you see what I mean."
"I do, Papa ... Ha! Ha! Ha! ... I do!"