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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
December 18, 2016
News Item: Donald Trump's cabinet appointees are mostly multi-millionaires and
Well, Gentlemen and Ladies ... oh, let me be less formal ... my fellow Toms and
Pussies (dare I use that word again ...) You see before you a cat with the keys to the
Meow! Meow! MeeOw!
Thank you! Thank you! You are too kind. Yes, I have taken over a $17 trillion
enterprise. That's what this economy is and I intend to make America great again.
Meow! Meow! Meow! You mean those dirty, smelly, filthy, unwashed 99 percent
produce $17 trillion ...
Well, almost. We produce something too ... But the real issue is making America
great. You see the unwashed want to work more.
They do! No wonder they stay at the bottom.
Of course they do. And I am going to give it to them. They don't call me the
cat-o-nine tails for nothing ...
Not to mention nine lives ... you've been bankrupt enough times ...
Beside the point, beside the point. I am a fine man, specimen, er cat I mean. I am
fair, and what I want all of you to have is an equal shot.
At what? At what?
You see when I whip these rats up to ... to producing $20 trillion or more, there is
Opportunity? What? What opportunity? Oh, I see-ee ...
Yes, someone is going to parlay a few million or billion into a trillion, the world's first
trillionaire. I am not hogging it all to myself. I am not a hog ... I am a cat and proud of
Meow! Meow! MeeOw! There could be more winners than just one then ...
Yes, everyone has an equal shot. So get to it. First one past the post also gets a
case of my new Gold Star Trump Champagne, hand-signed in gold ink ... the only
one of its kind ...