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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
December 9, 2018
GEORGE IN HEAVEN
News Item: George H. W. Bush, the 41st President passed away this week at the
age of 94. He had lost his wife Barbara earlier this year. He said he was looking
forward to being in heaven with her and his daughter Robin who had died of leukemia
when she was only 3 years old.
Oh Barbara, how absolutely wonderful to be with you again. I have really missed you.
Stop being soppy, Poppy. Say hello to Robin.
Robin! Gosh you look past retirement age.
That's what happens here in heaven Dad. You keep growing old, and then beyond
150 they let you be born again ...
What, go back down there?
No, right here. Here there's no pollution.
Gee, I feel hungry. Can we get something to eat. But other than the streams of milk
and honey. I don't like either.
Oh, none of that here. You just take gulps of air. All the nutrition you need is right in
it, concentrated, without waste. Notice ... no toilets.
What do we do to pass the time?
Anything you want. We can watch our version of television -- more like reality TV.
Watching those on earth going about their lives. Gets quite exciting sometimes with
bank robbers and wars.
But where are we?
Everywhere. We are the dark matter the physics people and astronomers talked
about -- they are quite depressed by the way. No more to discover.
Makes sense with all the accumulated humanity. That's why there is so much more
dark matter. But what is there to do?
You'll think of something. Tell us first about the family. How are they keeping? We
enjoyed your grand state funeral.
It was embarrassing. George shouldn't have done all that.
He just loves you darling, as we do ...