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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
December 6, 2020
NEVER SAY DIE
News Item: Trump still refuses to concede, relying on arcane rules that might help
overturn the election result.
Oh Doughnaald! What are you doing now?
Don't worry your pretty little head, Melania. We may still be staying in the White
But how can that be, Doughnaald. You lost.
You too! I'm telling you Melania, I did not lose. I won.
Oh Doughnaald! Let's go back to New York ...
How can I? I won. I owe it to the people who voted for me.
Oh Doughnaald! Let me get you a cheeseburger. It helps you think better and calm
I don't need a cheeseburger to think. I can think for myself and I AM calm.
Of course, Doughnaald. But don't you think being 7 million behind in votes and 232
to Biden's 306 in the electoral college is convincing.
His votes were fake, Melania. They dumped them in huge piles at 3 o'clock in the
morning after the election. That's why I am asking for a recount with signature
Oh, Doughnaald! You are my husband and I support you. So many crooks in
That's better. I think I'll have that burger you were offering me. Make sure it's a
CHEESEBURGER will ya ...