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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Dec 4, 2011
THE COCK OF THE WALK -- CAIN NOT ABEL
News Item: Republican Presidential hopeful Herman Cain named in yet
another liaison with a woman -- this time a thirteen-year affair.
I am Cain not Abel. Ya'll knew all that before, when I was leadin' in the polls.
So what's changed? Cain raisin' cain? What did you expect? I can't help it if
I am the cock of the walk. They just won't leave me alone.
So you have a floozie of the week coming out of the woodwork. Get a life
ladies! I can honestly say -- I don't know 'em. Coz I don't remember. How
Is she or isn't she? How the hell do I know. It all depends on what the
meaning of "is" is as Bill the great Democrat used to say. It was okay for
him -- still has a 60% approval rating and he busted the economy. We all
know that. We just don't say it. I am supposed to be against regulation, so I
can't complain about Bill guttin' Glass-Steagall and lettin' the bankers make a
ton of money before bustin' themselves and us.
So Bill's okay -- and look at some of his women; at least, mine are good
lookin'. And Jack Kennedy couldn't keep his pants up -- he's okay. And all
those other whiteys. Talk about a double standard.
Well, that's life -- floozy come, floozy go ... or is that easy come, easy go? No,
it ain't been easy. As I said before: I am Cain, I ain't able, and that's the truth.