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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
Dec 4, 2011

THE COCK OF THE WALK -- CAIN NOT ABEL

News Item:  Republican Presidential hopeful Herman Cain named in yet
another liaison with a woman -- this time a thirteen-year affair.

I am Cain not Abel.  Ya'll knew all that before, when I was leadin' in the polls.  
So what's changed?  Cain raisin' cain?  What did you expect?  I can't help it if
I am the cock of the walk.  They just won't leave me alone.

So you have a floozie of the week coming out of the woodwork.  Get a life
ladies!  I can honestly say -- I don't know 'em.  Coz I don't remember.  How
can you?

Is she or isn't she?  How the hell do I know.  It all depends on what the
meaning of "is" is as Bill the great Democrat used to say.  It was okay for
him  -- still has a 60% approval rating and he busted the economy.  We all
know that.  We just don't say it.  I am supposed to be against regulation, so I
can't complain about Bill guttin' Glass-Steagall and lettin' the bankers make a
ton of money before bustin' themselves and us.

So Bill's okay -- and look at some of his women; at least, mine are good
lookin'.  And Jack Kennedy couldn't keep his pants up -- he's okay.  And all
those other whiteys.  Talk about a double standard.

Well, that's life -- floozy come, floozy go ... or is that easy come, easy go?  No,
it ain't been easy.  As I said before:  I am Cain, I ain't able, and that's the truth.