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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
December 2, 2012
THE GRAND OLLAMA BRINGS CHANGE
News Item: There is talk of replacing the dollar bill by a coin thereby saving about
$5.6 billion dollars.
When I say I am going to bring you change, you can bet I am. When the Grand
Ollama speaks, the mint listens. There you have it.
They print $16.65 millions of dollar bills each day. When they are replaced, we will be
churning out these coins. Is that enough change?
But Sir, we were thinking, of changes in our life ...
Isn't this enough change. Just think. Instead of money slips, you will be carrying
change purses where the jingle of money will make you feel wealthy. It's a good
feeling to feel wealthy. I can attest to that. Plus the cooks -- eh, chefs I should say --
where I live make a fine dessert, fine dessert ... always. And I like dessert. You
wouldn't think to look at me, but I do.
And remember, carrying all that change in your pockets will make the pockets wear
out -- means more work and employment for seamstresses and dry cleaners if you
are chintzy. Or, you may be buying more pants, more consumer spending. That's
what we need in this economy to get it moving. Not tax cuts, just more worn pants.
Change. Yes, change is what I believe in, change is what I promised you, and
change is what you are gonna get. Change. Loose change.