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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
December 1, 2019
PARDON ME TURKEY
News Item: Following White House tradition a turkey named Butter was pardoned by
President Trump. Although not chosen by the President, a companion turkey called
Bread will join Butter to live out their days in retirement.
My, that was a close one!
I thought you were done for, Butter.
So did I, Bread. I mean when a giant orange presence looms over you and a hand is
Oh my God! Say no more.
I have to admit ... when that hand descended everything went loose and I, I ...
I know I saw it. You left a large gift for the President.
I couldn't help it but he didn't seem to mind at all, Bread. Savoir faire?
Or, he's just used to it. I of course thought it was my turn, Butter. I thought you'd
been rejected and I was the back-up. Hell, I was scared, so scared I let out a loud
one though I tried to cover it up with a gobble, gobble.
I think we did it though ... with my full deposit, no return and your contribution to
greenhouse gases Bread, it was enough.
Yeah, that guy is a germ phobe ... couldn't stand our barnyard manners.
Yes, lucky for us Bread but not for many others ...
What a shame! That's life's lottery, Butter -- winners and losers but what a cost to
Yep! Humans can never understand the kind of exciting lives we lead ...