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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
November 26, 2017
DRUMSTICK AND WISHBONE
News Item: Drumstick was pardoned by President Trump after a poll which he won.
In fact both birds will end their days (as are last year's Tater and Tot pardoned by
President Obama) at 'Gobbler's Rest' on the campus of Virginia Tech where
pardoned turkeys go.
Okay Wishbone, remember from now on ... you are here because of me ... just
hanging on to my coat-tails. I was the one pardoned. You just hung on for dear life.
Aw, cut it out! You know as well as I do we were all set the day they picked us out on
that cold Minnesota farm.
Yeah! That was the day.
Listen, you strutting turkey, you were shaking like a leaf ... thought the farmer had
picked you for an early Thanksgiving ...
Nah! Just pre-performance nerves.
Then they brought us all the way here to the orange-head who decided to get more
mileage by running a poll with made-up biographies. What do they mean, my walk is
a shuffle. I can strut as well as you if not better. I am trimmer at 36 pounds ... not 47
pounds of blubber like you.
What do you mean blubber. You wanna test it out?
Aw, come on! We are both lucky to be here. Just think what's happened to all our
friends at the farm.
Oh, let's not talk about it. It's just too sad ...
Yeah, these humans are a bloodthirsty lot ...
And they call us dumb ... we know a lot more than they imagine ...
Come on, let's go say 'hi' to Tater and Tot ... ask 'em about last year's guy.
Yeah, makes you wonder who the real turkeys are ... these humans who vote or ...
That orange-head really got to you too, eh?