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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
November 25, 2018
PARDON ME ... A TURKEY WINS THE LOTTERY
News Item: As is customary, a turkey receives a presidential pardon and will live out
its days on a farm.
Yippee! They tell me I won the lottery.
Now what lottery is that?
Oh, the Little Game Lotto. It's for little game like us ... you know, turkeys, ducks,
chickens and so on.
So what's the big deal?
Big deal! Big deal! Of course it's a big deal. Do you know these humans butcher 44
million of my fellow turkeys just at Thanksgiving. At least I will not be one of them.
What do you think of that?
That is a big deal for sure. There's just one problem.
Oh just that you have to visit Godfather the Baleful.
You mean their chief ...
Yeah! At his White House ... and, he lays a hand on you and ...
Oh no! What does he do?
He's the one who pardons you ... unless ...
Unless what? Unless what?
Unless ... well, let's not worry about that ...
Worry about what? You must tell me.
Don't let me worry your pretty little head.
You must tell me. You must.
Unless he feels your plumpness when he's about to pardon you and changes his
Oh no! How can he do that?
Well, he changes his mind about things. He sends you to the White House kitchen
and pardons a scrawny turkey from somewhere else.
Just my luck ...
Now don't worry ... these ups and downs are all part of the rich tapestry of life ...