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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
November 25, 2012
A TURKEY FAREWELL
News Item: An estimated 45 million turkeys with an average weight of 12 pounds are
consumed in the U.S. at Thanksgiving.
The dreaded day will soon be upon us. I know because my larger brothers and
sisters have been taken away daily, and they are grabbing more and more of us
each day. Any day now it will be my turn, so I thought I would put pen to paper for a
First of all, you humans think we are stupid, but we don't kill each other in the millions
like you are prone to. Perhaps it is because we can't talk. You do, and often make
others with a different point of view angry.
You are also territorial -- worse than chimps -- and not too welcoming. We prefer to
fly over such man-made boundaries living in relative fellowship with our neighbors.
You eat us; we don't eat you. You also eat pigs, cows, sheep, goats, birds, fish ...
just about anything that moves including snails, snakes and squirrels. What an
And look what you have done to the trees, woodlands, grasslands, lakes, rivers.
Flying friends tell me of our pockmarked earth. I wish I had been able to fly free,
smell the fresh air and flap my wings. No, my fate has been to be trapped in a
stinking giant cage with thousands of my brethren each awaiting the same fate in
another giant cage with whirling machines, feathers and blood.
I shall miss my companions. All I can say is this: My life may be coming to an end but
it is a small matter compared to all life on this earth ... at risk because you humans
now have weapons to kill us all, and appetites and behavior that is doing it slowly
Goodbye! I hope you have the sense to stop before it's too late ... and they call us