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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 17, 2019


News Item:  On allegations of sex with then 17-year old Virginia Roberts-Giuffre,
Prince Andrew claimed to have been at a Pizza Express in Woking on that day -- 10
March, 2001 -- in a BBC interview.

You can't blame the Prince ...

Why is that?

It's the same with all the wealthy ...

What is?

They love ordinary folk's food.

You mean like Trump loves hamburgers ...

Of course, and naturally the Prince loves pizzas.

Explains everything.

You mean like he can't remember how he could have been in a photograph upstairs
in Ghislaine Maxwell's apartment with his arms around his accuser.

He said he couldn't understand how the photo could be he because he always wears
a suit.

He does remember going to Pizza Express 18 years ago.

Well, there you are, tells you something about Pizza Express.

Does he admit to visiting Epstein's mansions?

Oh yes!  He said there were always lots of these girls wandering around; he assumed
them to be staff just like at Buckingham Palace ...

Underage girls!

I don't know; I haven't stayed there.

He would stay with Epstein when there was no room at the British Consul-General's
down the road ...

No room for a Prince?  

Yes, but always at Pizza Express.

And when you have a pizza there you never forget it.

Not even two decades later.  You remember the exact date.

It's a memorable event ... unlike sex ...