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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

November 11, 2018
ARMS AND THE MAN
News Item: The U.S. holds mid-term elections. The Turks report finding traces of
Hydrofluoric Acid in the drains and well at the Saudi consulate feeding the allegation
that Khashoggi's body was dissolved.
Mr. President, I called to congratulate you on your success in the mid-term elections.
Thank you, Crown Prince. Of course, you don't have to bother with this pesky
nuisance called elections.
For that we thank the blessings of Allah.
You well might, Crown Prince. Say did you find out any more about the Khashoggi
affair?
Unfortunately not, Mr. President. He seems to have just melted away ...
You can say that again! What the Turks are saying gives a new meaning to
liquidating someone ...
Oh, the Turks are masters of innuendo. But we are friends, and we spend our
money with our friends.
Yes a half-billion dollars worth. Our economy needs it.
And there is likely to be more ...
I am glad to hear that. Listen, I am going to Paris for the Armistice centenary ... as
you can imagine there's a lot going on right now ... what with fires in California ...
Yes, I am sorry about that, Mr. President. My condolences on the loss of life.
Thank you, Crown Prince. Listen ...
I just wanted to add, you could give Prime Minister May the same message, Mr.
President.
What condolences?
No Sir, I mean about us buying more arms.
Oh, I see. We make the best, you know ...
Of course, that is why we buy ten times as much from you ...