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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
November 8, 2020
News Item: Trump loses election but refuses to concede, instead filing lawsuits
contesting results in several states.
Doughnaald! I have to start the packing.
No you don't, Melania. Don't you know it's a fraud. I was winning in Pennsylvania
right to the end when suddenly this guy surges ahead. I am telling you they packed
the ballot boxes.
But everyone says you lost . . .
What everyone! Just the damn media led by CNN, and you know they hate me.
Oh Doughnaald! Let's go back to New York. I like New York.
So do I but I don't want to go back a loser . . . especially after the amazing red wave
on election night just as I promised. It was fantastic.
Yes it was but you lost. Let me start pack . . .
No, no, no, Melania. I have filed lawsuits because they stole the election. We have
to wait for the courts to decide.
Doughnaald, you always file lawsuits. Can I please pack. We have to leave the
No we do not. I am here until January 20. That is what the 20th Amendment says.
And after that the courts will have decided in my favor.
Stop saying that. And you know ... I want a big, fat, juicy CHEESEBURGER . . .