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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 8, 2015


News item:  The Chinese rolled out their first commercial jet, the C-919, to be sold
internationally within two years after flight tests.

So, you have learned to fly.

We all have to adapt in a changing world.

When will you be ready for clones to be made and sold to international carriers?

Oh, that will take awhile ... about two years.  You see, I have to get my FLIP-FLOPs.

Flip-flops!   You are not going to walk; you're going to fly.

You don't understand.  These are certificates ensuring I am air worthy.  The pilots
and producers certify us -- you know the Federations of Land-animals International
Pilots and Land Organism Producers.

Oh I see.  Have you taken to the air yet?

Well, I am fire-breathing and my engines produce a lot of hot air.  So I take a lot of
hot air and blow out even more.

No, no.  What I mean is, have you started flying yet?

Well, almost.  My wings are smooth and clean, and I promise a flight in harmony with
nature.  But truth be told, I haven't flown yet.  But I will, I will ... very, very soon.  
Chinese dragons will be all over the skies.

Provided your FLIP is not a flop and you don't get FLOP-bot ...

No chance of that.  We are well made, and if I may say so, FLOP-bot is a western
problem caused by decadent western toilets that the users consider a library.  We
dragons have a saying:  Do it on the fly.  And ...

Yes ...

Have you noticed, there are millions and millions of flying creatures and you seldom
get spattered.  It takes training before FLIP-FLOP certification ...