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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
November 8, 2015
THE FLYING DRAGON
News item: The Chinese rolled out their first commercial jet, the C-919, to be sold
internationally within two years after flight tests.
So, you have learned to fly.
We all have to adapt in a changing world.
When will you be ready for clones to be made and sold to international carriers?
Oh, that will take awhile ... about two years. You see, I have to get my FLIP-FLOPs.
Flip-flops! You are not going to walk; you're going to fly.
You don't understand. These are certificates ensuring I am air worthy. The pilots
and producers certify us -- you know the Federations of Land-animals International
Pilots and Land Organism Producers.
Oh I see. Have you taken to the air yet?
Well, I am fire-breathing and my engines produce a lot of hot air. So I take a lot of
hot air and blow out even more.
No, no. What I mean is, have you started flying yet?
Well, almost. My wings are smooth and clean, and I promise a flight in harmony with
nature. But truth be told, I haven't flown yet. But I will, I will ... very, very soon.
Chinese dragons will be all over the skies.
Provided your FLIP is not a flop and you don't get FLOP-bot ...
No chance of that. We are well made, and if I may say so, FLOP-bot is a western
problem caused by decadent western toilets that the users consider a library. We
dragons have a saying: Do it on the fly. And ...
Have you noticed, there are millions and millions of flying creatures and you seldom
get spattered. It takes training before FLIP-FLOP certification ...