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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 4, 2012
THE TALKING ELEPHANT
News Item: There is news this week of a talking Asian elephant in a South Korean
zoo who can say simple words like 'hello' and 'sit down' in Korean.
Yes, I am Koshik the talking elephant. Why do I talk? Simple, I want to break down
the myth of human exceptionalism.
What do you mean?
Well, humans think they are somehow unique ... from their creation stories, their
guardianship of our earth, to their careful sequestration of natural activities unifying
them with the rest of us.
What do you mean?
Well, look at human celebrities or powerful inaccessible figures. If you want to bring
them down to size, imagine them performing the natural activities of living beings and
their aura soon disappears. Not so with our leaders, they and we take it all in stride.
We are genuine; we are what we are ... without pretense.
You also pretend to look after the earth; instead it is being destroyed. You pretend
to look after me. But I have been removed from my home and family. I only have the
keeper to talk to ... in his language, he can't trumpet mine.
Sometimes, I wonder how you would feel if we captured one of you, put him in a cage
with some exercise objects, and had elephant herds trooping past.
Look he's jumping rope. Look he's running on the treadmill. See how slow he is.
Look, it's his feeding time. He's eating. How disgusting. He's using his dirty front
legs. Poor fellow doesn't have a clean trunk to feed himself like we do.
See what I mean!
THE TALKING ELEPHANT
News Item: There is news this week of a talking Asian elephant in a South Korean
zoo who can say simple words like 'hello' and 'sit down' in Korean.
Yes, I am Koshik the talking elephant. Why do I talk? Simple, I want to break down
the myth of human exceptionalism.
What do you mean?
Well, humans think they are somehow unique ... from their creation stories, their
guardianship of our earth, to their careful sequestration of natural activities unifying
them with the rest of us.
What do you mean?
Well, look at human celebrities or powerful inaccessible figures. If you want to bring
them down to size, imagine them performing the natural activities of living beings and
their aura soon disappears. Not so with our leaders, they and we take it all in stride.
We are genuine; we are what we are ... without pretense.
You also pretend to look after the earth; instead it is being destroyed. You pretend
to look after me. But I have been removed from my home and family. I only have the
keeper to talk to ... in his language, he can't trumpet mine.
Sometimes, I wonder how you would feel if we captured one of you, put him in a cage
with some exercise objects, and had elephant herds trooping past.
Look he's jumping rope. Look he's running on the treadmill. See how slow he is.
Look, it's his feeding time. He's eating. How disgusting. He's using his dirty front
legs. Poor fellow doesn't have a clean trunk to feed himself like we do.
See what I mean!