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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
November 3, 2019
WHITE HOUSE HOLLOWEEN
News Item: Donald Trump and Melania host a Halloween party in the White House
Melania! My boon, my companion, you look lovely ...
Doughnaald! What's up with you ... been on the sauce?
Melania! You know I don't drink ...
(Aide walks up) Sir, you're not in a costume ...
No, I don't need to. Don't you see, some of the kids are wearing me as a costume.
They must think I'm a superhero.
Superhero! Hah! I could tell them a thing or two ...
Now Melania, I know I am not as young as I used to be ... (voice drops) you don't
have to say things like that in front of the aide.
(Melania loudly) I was how you say it ... kidding hah! hah! (somewhat unconvincingly).
You know after all this is over (starts distributing candy to the kids as does Melania) ...
You mean after we leave this White House job ...
No, no, no. Don't you like it here? You are FLOTUS, the First Lady of the United
FLOTUS! I hate the word ... rhymes with octopus and sounds like I am some fat Frau
I so love it when you use German words. Tell you what ... after we finish here, let's
go inside and have a cheeseburger in bed ...
(Shouts to aide) Go get a couple of cheeseburgers and send 'em up to the
residence. Make it snappy. I'm hungry. Come to think of it, make it three