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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
Oct 23, 2011


Item:  George W. Bush's Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld published his
book, "Known and Unknown:  A Memoir" earlier in the year.  He is remembered
for his comment about known knowns, known unknowns and unknown

I may act like a duck, walk like a duck, ... even quack like a duck!  But a duck I
am not.  I am a swan, and this is my swan song.

Unknown unknowns never bothered me.  That's life.  Now you see, I work at
a stand-up desk.  You might ask why anyone with a sane mind would want to
stand all day when he could sit comfortably at a regular desk.  That's what I
call a known unknown -- keeps my subordinates off balance -- you know
what I mean ... is he a nut or something?

Why did we go into Iraq?  Well, it was there ... for the taking I mean, plus that
S. O. B.  SoDamn Insane or whatever his name was.  It's good to teach 'em a
lesson once in a while; keeps 'em in line so to speak.  I was a wrestler in
school, you know -- New Trier in Winnetka, Illinois.  Some say it's a rich kids'
playground.  It's not.  They work you darned hard.  Then I got a NROTC
scholarship to Princeton -- wrestled some more, chewed a few ears -- and so
to the Navy.  I like to fight.  Then to government and politics -- it's tougher.  
Gotta have a thick skin too.  Have to.

After all this it was an unknown known that got me.  It's a category I didn't
mention before.  But it's the only way I can describe that kid ... I mean young
George.  Knew his Dad ... darned decent guy ... but that kid I tell ya ... he's
one crazy kid -- never realized it until too late -- crazy as a fox ... the
unknown known.

Still I'm happy here at the ranch.  Quiet.  Peaceful.  By the by, I had a long
sofa by my stand-up desk, ha! ha!