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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
October 20, 2013
THE FRENCH POODLE VISITS SOUTH AFRICA
News Item: French President Francois Hollande visiting South Africa urges President
Jacob Zuma to send troops to the Central African Republic where northern Seleke
rebels seized the capital Bangui and ousted President Francois Bozize in March.
France itself is loathe to get involved.
Ma foi! What more can I a French poodle, a toy French poodle, do?
Oui! oui! I 'ave been to Mali, and look at ze trouble it 'as made for me in ze
elections. Oui! oui! I am ze conqueror of Mali, ze new Napoleon! But I know -- 'ow
you say it -- when to stop. Napoleon non! an' we know what 'appened.
Any'ow, it's easy for you to find, zis Central African Republique. You live here ... in
Africa I mean. It's a big place.
An' ze UN, you know. Zey will 'elp. That Korean Jeju chief of theirs is sly as ze fox ...
Knows 'ow to keep ze Onkel Sam 'appy. An' ze UN 'ave people zere. Zey 'ave people
everywhere. An' I 'ave convinced zem zey will need ze protection.
So you see ... everything is okay.
What? Last time you were zere they killed your troops. Oui! oui! 'zese things
'appen. But zis time ze UN will 'elp.
What? you 'ave 'eard zat before. An' why don't I just leave zem alone.
You forget. Ze place is --- 'ow you say it -- stinkin' rich wiz ze minerals. Oui! oui! we
all need zem.
You mus come to France .... la belle France. I will take you to enjoy ze beautiful night
Thinks to himself ... with what we know about this leader, one night out on the town
and we'll easily change his mind. Meanwhile, time to get working on the Korean Jeju