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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
October 19. 2018
A FIST FIGHT
News Item: Saudi Arabia after first denying any knowledge admitted Jamal
Khashoggi had died ... but in a fist fight.
Did you say in a fist fight?
Yes! It's easy to die in a fist fight.
Even to lose your head?
Don't believe everything you read ... fake news, you know.
They say he was beheaded ...
No, no, no! We know much about beheading. Do it regularly, you know. No. We
Saudis are really strong people, you know, with really big fists. The man hit him, and
his head came off. We know the truth. We have the man in custody.
Wasn't his torso cut off by a bone saw?
No, no, no! More fake news. We have the man who hit in the belly. Big man with
very big fists ... very, very powerful. Big Khashoggi belly too. It all disintegrated. We
have the man. He confessed.
What about the tapes the Turks have?
You don't believe that, do you? All fake news. Doctored tapes are easy for
intelligence agencies. They use actors to mimic voices. You know what I mean.
Why would they do that?
Just envious of our success and our new Davos-in-the-desert economic conference ..
the Chinese are coming.
Yes, I have a direct quote from their chief delegate: "The Clown Prince is velly smart
man ... has far leaching ideas with unique solutions."