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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
October 15, 2017
HARVEY THE TOM
News Item: Harvey Weinstein, the movie mogul has been accused of rape and
sexual assault by many women including some prominent actresses.
Hey! Cool it. I am a tomcat; I do what nature intended me to do. And I do it because
But they say it was against their will ...
What will? Did I tie them down? They've got claws; they can bite; they've got legs.
Ooh yeah! I love legs and boobs and everything else. I should've been an artist.
But they don't like you, let alone love you ...
Love me! Love me! Are you kidding? Have you seen these whiskers? Man o' man,
cat's whiskers I tell you. It'll get 'em every time.
Doesn't look like they got this crowd ... they can't stand you.
Complain, complain, complain. They're all has-beens ... looking for publicity. As I
said, I wasn't chaining them; it was not a fortress ...
Yeah, but what would've happened to their future if they had walked out?
Future! What future? I made them all. They can do this to me now after they are
known. What ingratitude? I tell you I should have been a dog. They are a more
loving breed and loyal. But I am a cat, and you know what ...
You know what ... they said you were a large, frightening bully ... threatening people,
pushing them around. They were all afraid of you.
A tomcat is a tomcat is a tomcat ...