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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
October 14, 2018
News Item: Hurricane Michael devastated the Florida panhandle. The first Category
5 hurricane to hit the area, it continued as a Category 3 into Georgia.
Michael! Michael! Michael! How could you?
Please! Please don't blame me. It was the wind, the wind ... oh, the wind?
You were just heartless.
I am so full of guilt. I tell you, I'll be seeing a psychic for the rest of my life.
Psychic? Don't you mean a psychiatrist?
Psychic, psychiatrist, what do I know? Whatever you humans use for being uneasy in
your minds ...
Couldn't you imagine what would happen?
How could I?
How can you be so, insensitive?
I am telling you it's not my fault.
Then whose is it?
Look, all I did was take a ride on a wind merry-go-round ...
So you were playing ... how uncaring ...
You are hurting my feelings. As I spun around, the wind just took over, fiercer than
I've ever known, spinning me round and round and round and round. I was so dizzy I
don't remember any more ...
What an excuse?
I am telling you, it's the truth. We can always stop and get off though some can be
naughty I know. But this, this was different, out of control. It's global warming ... it's
what you humans have been doing to the environment.
So you are blaming us now ...
I am simply telling you the way it is. You have to stop or you'll destroy yourselves ...