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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
October 4, 2020
News Item: The President enters Walter Reed military hospital to recover from
Yes sir, Mr. President. I'm glad you are feeling better.
I don't want your sentiments. I want a CHEESEBURGER, nurse.
Yes Sir. I called the kitchens. They don't have cheeseburgers on the menu today.
I don't care if it's on the menu. I don't care if you have to slaughter a cow. I want a
CHEESEBURGER! And don't forget some fries.
Yes Sir. I'll call them again.
Doctor! Good. I'm glad you came in. Listen, how can you expect a patient to get
better if he can't get decent food? I want a cheeseburger.
Well Mr. President. That's a really good sign. I think you're getting better.
I told you before I would.
I'll see if I can get you that cheeseburger. I'll order a special meal for you.
Do you want it for lunch or dinner?
Both. And you can add one for breakfast . . . with a couple of eggs.
And some vegetables for lunch and dinner?
What do you think I am . . . a rabbit. Anyway the cheeseburger has vegetables in it. .
. lettuce and tomato. . .
The chefs in the White House must be having an easy time.
Well, the First Lady keeps them busy with her Slovenian dishes. Doctor, I'm hungry.
PLEASE my CHEESEBURGER . . .