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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 27, 2020


News Item: Georg Friedrich, Prince of Prussia, great-great-grandson of the last
Kaiser is suing to get his property back.

Are you not yet another ex-royal with a dubious claim?

What do you mean ex!  I am royal.  I can trace my lineage back through centuries of
rulers over Prussia.

There are thousands in India who can trace their lineage back to Shah Jehan . . .
they aren't getting the Taj Mahal.

But my claim is recent. They confiscated my property after World War II.

Yes, for helping the Nazis into power.

I didn't personally.

No just the long line of royals you were quoting.

Look, it's a matter of fairness.  My cousin Charlie and his lot are doing well.

They were on the winning side.  In the old days your head would be on a pole in the

Now, now!  Let's not get carried away.

But you might.  The German public hates you, and your case has been going on for

I am just a poor Humpty Dumpty who wants to be put together again.

The Kaiser brought devastation with World War I and your buddies the Nazis did the
same in WWII.

Not me! Not me!

Look, there's always hope.  Become Trump.  Run for office.  Become Chancellor and
make your own laws.  

Good!  How do I do that?

Tell lies and eat CHEESEBURGERS!

Lies I can tell but cheeseburgers!  I'll have to think about this . . .