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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 23, 2012
TWITT THE RAM'S HOOF-IN-MOUTH DISEASE
News Item: In remarks to wealthy donors (videotaped), Mitt Romney dismisses the
47 percent of Americans, who (according to him) "believe they are entitled to health
care, to food, to housing, to you name it".... [and] pay no income tax", adding, his "job
is not to worry about" those who refuse to "take personal responsibility and care for
their lives".
The Romney Marshes in Kent are a desolate region. Gale force winds blow across
from the English Channel numbing the minds of its residents (heavily woolled sheep)
leading naturally to many incidents of hoof-in-mouth disease.
The most famous son of this area, a ram going by the nickname Twitt, given him by
his fellows, displays frequent signs. Yet, he has amassed a fortune, proving once
again that brains are a handicap for a capitalist leading as they do, to that
unfortunate deadly virus, a social conscience, that is fatal to capitalism.
Just to be sure, Twitt, is it not true that most of the 47 percent are paying payroll
taxes, and many therefore end up with a higher percentage tax burden than you?
Oh, I pay all my taxes, all the burdens imposed by our overbearing government. I
would cut taxes so you would have more money in your pocket to spend and invest
and grow the economy.
You mean like the cutting of the dividends and long-term capital gains tax rates to 15
percent, so people like you could have more money to spend and invest.
Exactly!
But then can you explain why you have moved your money to off-shore banks
instead of investing here at home?
That is a long story, I'll tell you later. Tell you what though ... we sheep learned a
long time ago how to deal with fleas like you.
He walked away smiling affably.