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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
September 16, 2018
THE BEAR AND THE DRAGON EXERCISE
News Item: China and Russia hold the largest military exercise (September 11-17,
2018) since the cold war, employing 300,000 troops, 900 tanks, 1000 aircraft, 80
naval vessels and so on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know. They are exercising together. I don't care. I hate
exercise. That's why I use my electric golf cart when I play golf.
It's not that kind of exercise ...
I don't care what kind of exercise, tai chi or chop suey. It's all the same to me.
It's a serious deterioration in relations, sir ...
Talk to Melania. She's into exercise and really into her relations, especially my
I don't think I can bring this up with her.
Why not? She's always talking about bringing out a book and exercise video. You
know like Jane Fonda. But she won't be getting publicity, sitting on a North Korean
tank in the middle of war ...
Did you say tank, sir? Because that's what I am talking about ... Russian tanks.
Yes I did. And you know what. I am beginning to think you've got a good head on
your shoulders. Yes, you do. Yes, she could add tank tops to her line and sell them
with the exercise videos, even to Russians.
I meant fighting tanks ...
No, I don't think so. She's not into karate and taekwondo and all that crap.
I give up. Perhaps tai chi is more to her liking.
No she doesn't like tea, and I don't either ...