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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 16, 2018


News Item:  China and Russia hold the largest military exercise (September 11-17,
2018) since the cold war, employing 300,000 troops, 900 tanks, 1000 aircraft, 80
naval vessels and so on.

Yeah, yeah,  yeah!  I know.  They are exercising together.  I don't care.  I hate
exercise.  That's why I use my electric golf cart when I play golf.

It's  not that kind of exercise ...

I don't care what kind of exercise, tai chi or chop suey.  It's all the same to me.

It's a serious deterioration in relations, sir ...

Talk to Melania.  She's into exercise and really into her relations, especially my
mother-in-law  ...

I don't think I can bring this up with her.

Why not?  She's always talking about bringing out a book and exercise video.  You
know like Jane Fonda.  But she won't be getting publicity, sitting on a North Korean
tank in the middle of war ...

Did you say tank, sir?  Because that's what I am talking about ... Russian tanks.

Yes I did.  And you know what.  I am beginning to think you've got a good head on
your shoulders.  Yes, you do.  Yes, she could add tank tops to her line and sell them
with the exercise videos, even to Russians.

I meant fighting tanks ...

No, I don't think so.  She's not into karate and taekwondo and all that crap.

I give up.  Perhaps tai chi is more to her liking.

No she doesn't like tea, and I don't either ...