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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
September 15, 2019
News Item: Trump has now spent more time in golf clubs than any other president.
Why is it that you have two caddies Mr. President?
Oh, there is a good reason for that, I did not want to deny myself on the golf course
Deny yourself what sir, you're already enjoying golf?
You'll see (sets up and drives the ball). I think I am ready (nods to the new caddie
who is carrying a large box in front of him with a robust strap around his neck)
As he walks towards his ball, Trump explains: The idea came to me in the bath while I
was playing with my favorite ducky. I would hold it under and it would pop right up.
That's like a toaster.
I thought cook does that. Anyway, I have this gizmo (takes his next shot and
continues) with two very small pop-up machines and battery-powered heaters. Smart
isn't it? That's why I'm president, not Hillary.
Popping up noises come from the box and the caddie comes up to the president.
Ah! Thank you! Am I ready for it ...
Why it's a CHEESEBURGER!
Of course, bite-sized. Melania wants me to lose weight. But she doesn't know. I
have one after every hole, heh! heh! chuckles as he eats ...