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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
September 15, 2013
News Item: Francois Hollande is the only world leader willing to provide military
support to the U.S. in a Syrian intervention.
Oui! Oui! I am ze new French Napoleon.
Isn't that like a fruit cake?
What you mean fruitcake ... I am ze pride of La Belle France (twirls on the stacked
heels of his elevator shoes, arms akimbo)
Aren't you also a French poodle?
Oui! Oui! Fierce miniature poodle (snarls for good measure). Zat is why zey call me
Bone-Apart. I rip up ze bones.
What kind of bones are we talking about? Large beef bones? Lamb bones?
Non! non! non! I am ... 'ow you call eet ... ze French gastronome of refined tastes.
Non! zeez are ze haute cuisine biscuits shaped like a bone.
Ah! you mean dog biscuits ...
Mon Dieu! Ze Americain can be so unrefined.
Yup! Sure saved your shaven rump a few times ...
Monsieur! Friends must show grace ...
I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.
Oh! We are friends. We let it pass.
And what sort of help are you planning to provide?
We 'ave ze sail boat ... and, I must not forget, za dinghy goes with it.
Non! non! non! What do you think? Non! We have za team of my friends. Zey go
ashore ... sniffer dogs for ze chemical bombs. We provide ... 'ow you call eet ... ze
critical support ...