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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 13, 2020
LETTING LEGATES LOOSE
News Item: Professor David Legates from the University of Delaware appointed to a
senior position (reporting to the agency head) at NOAA, the National Oceanic and
Atmospheric Administration. He denies Climate Change.
Mr. President, you have appointed a climate change denier to the NOAA. Do you
think he will do a good job of environmental observation and prediction?
Why not? I have eaten cheeseburgers with him. He makes short work of the little
beggars. Man, can he keep up with me.
Sir, by the looks of him, he seems far ahead of you.
Now, I think that's uncalled for. Yes, he's a little on the rotund side okay. But it
shows you, I don't discriminate against the overweight.
Is this a last-minute effort to get the fat vote?
That comment too is uncalled for, and your question undermines my sincerity. David
thinks climate change is a hoax and I agree.
Sir, his department head at the university is saying he won't be teaching during the
rest of this semester but he'll be back for the Spring Semester. Is that a verdict on
your chances in the coming election?
No it's not. And that's another rude question. You've had your shots. I am not
staying here to listen to this.
As he is leaving, he calls out to one of his aides "Get me a CHEESEBURGER ... "
LETTING LEGATES LOOSE
News Item: Professor David Legates from the University of Delaware appointed to a
senior position (reporting to the agency head) at NOAA, the National Oceanic and
Atmospheric Administration. He denies Climate Change.
Mr. President, you have appointed a climate change denier to the NOAA. Do you
think he will do a good job of environmental observation and prediction?
Why not? I have eaten cheeseburgers with him. He makes short work of the little
beggars. Man, can he keep up with me.
Sir, by the looks of him, he seems far ahead of you.
Now, I think that's uncalled for. Yes, he's a little on the rotund side okay. But it
shows you, I don't discriminate against the overweight.
Is this a last-minute effort to get the fat vote?
That comment too is uncalled for, and your question undermines my sincerity. David
thinks climate change is a hoax and I agree.
Sir, his department head at the university is saying he won't be teaching during the
rest of this semester but he'll be back for the Spring Semester. Is that a verdict on
your chances in the coming election?
No it's not. And that's another rude question. You've had your shots. I am not
staying here to listen to this.
As he is leaving, he calls out to one of his aides "Get me a CHEESEBURGER ... "