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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 11, 2016
THE MOUSE OF ALEPPO
News Item: This week we heard the incredible news that Gary Johnson did not know
what or where Aleppo is. He is the Libertarian Party presidential candidate and
former New Mexico governor.
Well, I may be only a little mouse but I have news for you: I share 88 percent of
human genes.
Is that why they do all those things to you in science and medical labs?
It's a job ... what can I say?
Are you proud of such close similarity to humans?
Proud! Are you kidding? I am proud of Aleppo my city. It is the largest in Syria and
its cultural capital ... or used to be.
You mean the war.
Yes, all the factions and all the foreign proxies. The residents just got along fine with
each other, lived together in a civilized way ... until all the fighters arrived ...
What is life like now?
Hell.
Perhaps things will get better after the truce ...
Perhaps. Depends on how long it lasts.
What do you think of the American presidential election?
What do I think? You have a mountebank, a wicked witch of the west, a head in the
clouds instead of feet on the ground, and an ignoramus ...
You mean Gary Johnson who didn't know what or where Aleppo was. Did that offend
you?
No, not at all. Speaking as an Aleppo native, I would much rather have a US
president who did not know where Aleppo was ...
THE MOUSE OF ALEPPO
News Item: This week we heard the incredible news that Gary Johnson did not know
what or where Aleppo is. He is the Libertarian Party presidential candidate and
former New Mexico governor.
Well, I may be only a little mouse but I have news for you: I share 88 percent of
human genes.
Is that why they do all those things to you in science and medical labs?
It's a job ... what can I say?
Are you proud of such close similarity to humans?
Proud! Are you kidding? I am proud of Aleppo my city. It is the largest in Syria and
its cultural capital ... or used to be.
You mean the war.
Yes, all the factions and all the foreign proxies. The residents just got along fine with
each other, lived together in a civilized way ... until all the fighters arrived ...
What is life like now?
Hell.
Perhaps things will get better after the truce ...
Perhaps. Depends on how long it lasts.
What do you think of the American presidential election?
What do I think? You have a mountebank, a wicked witch of the west, a head in the
clouds instead of feet on the ground, and an ignoramus ...
You mean Gary Johnson who didn't know what or where Aleppo was. Did that offend
you?
No, not at all. Speaking as an Aleppo native, I would much rather have a US
president who did not know where Aleppo was ...