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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
Sept 8, 2013

PANDER PANDA

News Item:  Elected representatives are fast becoming insensitive to the opinions of
the electorate as the power of deep-pocketed campaign contributors and lavishly
spending lobbyists waxes.

No, you won't hear about me.  You will see pictures of Bo and Sunny ... you will see
movies of them frolicking on the White House lawns, but you won't see me.

But a panda is so cute ...

Ha! ha! ha!  Who said I am a panda.  It's just a name thought up by some spook
friends of you know who ...

So why are you telling us?

Don't you get it?  We are in the waning days ... the last laps if you like ... I thought I
should get some recognition.

Wouldn't that compromise your work?

Nope!  Nobody cares any more.  Bribery is legal and the press have joined the party.  
Heh! heh!  Don't blame you guys ... not one bit.  Just thought ... time to make myself
known ... time to go out, make a bundle ...  selling access ... you know, like the
others.  The Chinese have gobs of dough.

So, what do you do?

Important stuff.  Say if a guy lays out seventy big ones ... I mean really big ones ... he
gets to call the tune ... hell, he gets to conduct the band.  I see to that ... and they are
grateful ... very!  Tell you what, let me summarize it for you -- I pander to the power
elite, the power brokers, the truly powerful ... I love the lobbyists, the lavish spending
lobbyists.  In our democracy, everyone has a voice ... you do too.  Trouble is, nobody
listens to you.  I make sure some guys get heard.  Ha! ha! ha!  It's a great life.  Ciao!