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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 6, 2020
A KING'S CONSORT
News Item: For the first time since 1920, an old custom has been revived in
Thailand. King Vajiralongkorn has taken a consort -- in Thailand a partner outside of
marriage.
I warned your father when we named you ... a 'longkorn' is worse than a bunion.
What are you talking about Mother?
Your name, child. Your name ...
I am not a child. I am your King.
Oh be quiet. Imagine taking a consort ... and at your age.
What do you mean, 'at my age.' I am still young.
Young! You are past retirement age. Sixty-eight years old and running around with
stewardesses and nurses ...
Mother, a young man must sow his wild oats.
Your oats are as wild as a wet sock.
Mother, someone might hear ...
Hear! They already know your evening dessert is viagra.
Mother, I am having you banished from the palace.
I only wish your father was alive so I could have you whipped. Unfortunately for you,
your father was too gentle.
That has been the problem, Mother. This country needs a forceful King to be 'great
again.'
Oh, my God! No.
What do you mean, Mother?
You have been listening to that American buffoon -- the one who screams every night
for a CHEESEBURGER ....
A KING'S CONSORT
News Item: For the first time since 1920, an old custom has been revived in
Thailand. King Vajiralongkorn has taken a consort -- in Thailand a partner outside of
marriage.
I warned your father when we named you ... a 'longkorn' is worse than a bunion.
What are you talking about Mother?
Your name, child. Your name ...
I am not a child. I am your King.
Oh be quiet. Imagine taking a consort ... and at your age.
What do you mean, 'at my age.' I am still young.
Young! You are past retirement age. Sixty-eight years old and running around with
stewardesses and nurses ...
Mother, a young man must sow his wild oats.
Your oats are as wild as a wet sock.
Mother, someone might hear ...
Hear! They already know your evening dessert is viagra.
Mother, I am having you banished from the palace.
I only wish your father was alive so I could have you whipped. Unfortunately for you,
your father was too gentle.
That has been the problem, Mother. This country needs a forceful King to be 'great
again.'
Oh, my God! No.
What do you mean, Mother?
You have been listening to that American buffoon -- the one who screams every night
for a CHEESEBURGER ....