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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
September 1, 2013
KERRI-OKI THE SINGING BLOODHOUND
News Item: War hysteria mounts with preparations for air attacks on Syria -- John
Kerry claims 'undeniable evidence' of a recent gas attack calling it a 'moral obscenity'.
Okay Mr. Keri-oki, what do you do?
I am a singing bloodhound.
Good, good, Go ahead ...
Sings: Undeniable evidence, undeniable evidence ...
Interrupted phone call, interrupted conversaaa...tion ...
Unusual lyrics! We must say there isn't much demand for that sort of thing ... where
did you say you worked? Your day job I mean ...
That's odd. I thought I had heard your lyrics before. There was another fella from
your place. Said he had played the UN. So we gave him a tryout. Let me see ...
what was his name? ... I remember Colon du Bowell. How could I forget a name like
that. Anyway, he sang the same tune. Sounded just as fake. Sorry, can't use you.
But I have another song ... Sings: Moral obscenity ... moral obscenity ... moral ...
Okay! okay! Don't call us. We'll call you ...
But, but, I am a war hero ... a peace hero. I have a plan, many plans. I can smell the
future a mile away ...
You sure can smell. Throw him out ...