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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 31, 2014
THE GRAND OLLAMA PLAYS GOLF
News Item: President Obama on his vacation devotes much time to golf. The The
news suggests he is moving away from his lifelong passion for basketball.
Ah! the golf. It's the only peace I have these days. And that is something I have
learned: peace is almost unattainable ...
Yes, wherever you go, there is war ...
What do you mean, wherever I go? I did not go to Iraq or Afghanistan ...
You just called Afghanistan the 'good' war, extended it, then took off to Libya (a
mess), Syria (a worse mess), and all kinds of fighting in Yemen, Somalia, Pakistan,
and God knows where else.
I just came to play golf. So stop your carping and let's play. How satisfying it is to let
fly at a ball. Whack! Feels good. Sometimes I understand why some of those
Central Asians liked to play polo with the defeated leader's skull after a battle ...
That was when there was no possibility of a ransom.
Ah! the fresh air clears the mind. I wish we could stay on our own continent. They
just won't let me.
I thought you were the Grand Chief Ollama.
It's not that easy.
Some of the llama groups are so powerful. They'd have my head for a golf ball ...
Oh, well let's hit a few more ...
Whack! whack! ...