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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 21, 2011
THE TEXAS LONGHORNBLOWER
News Item: Texas governor Rick Perry joins the Presidential race.
Molly Ivins used to call him Goodhair, also Mr. Coiffure. At the time (still
does) he wanted Texas schools to teach Creationism, the belief the earth is
6,000 years old, that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth together, etc.
This week a kid at a school asked him if he believed in evolution ...
"Evolution? evolution is just a theory" he said, "a made-up theory without
Scientists explain that an established theory in science has been tested and
retested with observations. It is the best available explanation until, and if,
further evidence disproves it. Evolution has withstood this rigorous study
for a century and a half.
"Jobs have been growing in Texas since I have been Governor," says
If one draws a rectangle, then connects the lower left hand corner to the
upper right hand corner, the resulting diagonal is Texas jobs for the last
three decades. They have been growing consistently. Longhornblower has
been Governor for only a part of that time-line.
"God made this earth. Maybe he took seven days, maybe he took billions of
years, I don't know. But given he's all powerful, why would he want all that
time? See why the scientists make no sense -- all smarts and no savvy!"
"Okay, okay! So, Texas is 49th in spending for schools and about the same,
hugging the bottom, for services. So what! It's a measure of our efficiency.
All these guys -- and gals -- working even when we are the last among fifty
states in adults having high school diplomas. I'm proud of 'em. We work