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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 20, 2017


News Item:  A poll ranks "idiot" the number one descriptor for Trump.  "Smart" came
in at number 28.

Don't worry Mr. President.  They call bulldogs stupid and Churchill was likened to one.

Churchill's my  idol, you know.

And no matter what the polls say ...

I don't believe in polls and I don't like dogs but Churchill was ...

Amazing, incredible ...

You took the words out of my mouth.  No matter what they say, the people idolize me.

Loftily stupid, like dumb idols, said Thomas Carlyle.

Smart ass.  Do I know him?

I don't think so Mr. President.

Loftily eh?  I like the word, though 'incredible' is better.

What's on the agenda next week Mr. President?

Well, let's see ... I took care of Kim last week, Afghanistan this week -- the generals
have the extra men, they should take care of it.  I don't like  micro-managing.  Give
them some of what they want -- that way you still have some hold over 'em -- and
leave them to it.  Fire 'em if they can't do the job.

You mean like the Pacific fleet admiral with the faulty computerized steering on the

Well, he was retiring in a few weeks anyway.

Someone has to deal with the military contractors.  If airplanes can fly by wire, you'd
think steering slow-moving destroyers would be a piece of cake ... Oh!  Oh!  Don't
look at me, sir ...