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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 14, 2011
THE STRAW PULL
News Item: Michelle Bachman wins the Iowa straw poll kicking off the
Republican Primary Campaign for the 2012 Presidential election.
So what is this straw pull and why straw?
Well, let me answer the second question first. Straw -- because ... what do
you see at the Iowa State Fair? All those beautiful prize animals and straw --
no shortage of it. And so we pull straws; the shortest wins. We Republicans
are a lot more civilized now -- no more locking horns, grunting and fighting
in the rut. No, we play it quietly, calmly, by the rules.
So, Michelle the Black Widow won?
Yes, it doesn't mean much. She says, she'll leave you with more of what you
have. She means it .... literally. She eats the rest. Have you seen those
eyes? See the Newsweek cover?
And the old Texas Longhorn ... bet he wishes you were still locking horns?
Oh, he's out there to gab. It's a retiree's avocation.
What of the famous New Romney Sheep known the world over for its wool,
for it's soft, fuzzy exterior?
He'll get over it. They give him a close shave to take off all that wool
anyway. He is used to scrapes and cuts.
And the pachyderm offering Pawlenty of bacon, sausage and choice cuts of
Just curled his tail a little. But he's trotted off wiser.
Don't worry, they'll all be back for the real Primary. You watch, 2012 will be
the year of the elephant.