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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 12, 2012
THE WISCONSIN MUSKRAT
News Item: Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan picked by Mitt Romney as his Vice
Presidential running mate.
Yep! I'll admit it. I am a Wisconsin muskrat. I love to hunt and I love to fish ...and I
eat what I hunt and I eat what I fish.
That's the way it is folks. That is the way it has always been and that is the way it'll
always be -- the survival of the fittest.
What happens to the old and the infirm in nature? They get eaten. Keeps the place
clean. Gets rid of the useless clutter. That's why I say, get rid of Medicare, Medicaid,
Social Security; nature will take care of the rest.
I call my plan Naturecare. Think of all the savings in gas emissions from population
reduction - that alone should garner the support of all these bleeding-heart
earth-loving liberals who won't stop talking about global warming.
Think of all the money saved that could give us a military to make the Chinese and
Russians quake at the knees. Think of all the jobs created making those weapons. I
am talking about a new invigorated economy with no place for layabouts.
In fact my next plan after Naturecare is Naturecure where you work 'em until 70, then
provide a retirement package of two cyanide pills, one for each spouse. It just
speeds up the process. Why have clutter in the first place?