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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 12, 2012

THE WISCONSIN MUSKRAT

News Item:  Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan picked by Mitt Romney as his Vice
Presidential running mate.

Yep!  I'll admit it.  I am a Wisconsin muskrat.  I love to hunt and I love to fish ...and I
eat what I hunt and I eat what I fish.

That's the way it is folks.  That is the way it has always been and that is the way it'll
always be -- the survival of the fittest.

What happens to the old and the infirm in nature?  They get eaten.  Keeps the place
clean.  Gets rid of the useless clutter.  That's why I say, get rid of Medicare, Medicaid,
Social Security; nature will take care of the rest.

I call my plan Naturecare.  Think of all the savings in gas emissions from population
reduction - that alone should garner the support of all these bleeding-heart
earth-loving liberals who won't stop talking about global warming.

Think of all the money saved that could give us a military to make the Chinese and
Russians quake at the knees.  Think of all the jobs created making those weapons.  I
am talking about a new invigorated economy with no place for layabouts.

In fact my next plan after Naturecare is Naturecure where you work 'em until 70, then
provide a retirement package of two cyanide pills, one for each spouse.  It just
speeds up the process.  Why have clutter in the first place?