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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 9, 2020
ELEPHANTS AND HUNTERS
News Item: Former King Juan Carlos leaves Spain for Abu Dhabi: His problem
began with an expensive elephant hunting trip during the 2014 recession. The
resulting controversy and a corruption investigation led to his abdication.
I have told you before, Jumbo, decent people do not hunt elephants.
Yes, Papa, only poachers and the corrupt rich do. But a bullet is a bullet no matter
where it comes from.
That is why we have to be extra careful. Stay in the open where we can see them
too. These cartoonish royals everywhere have nothing to do, so they collect
trophies.
Would a quick charge and a hoist from the backside be comical and embarrassing.
You may joke but these people even with a foot in the grave, they still like to play
young like a playboy.
Anyway what kind of a hunt is it when they have experienced hunters to protect
them. Who knows who shot what then, but they claim they did. We need an elephant
army, Papa.
Jumbo, they have those shooting sticks. We cannot even come close. It's best to
run for cover.
Then maybe we circle around Papa, and hoist one of them from behind. Then
maybe another and another and ...
You are really into hoisting them, Jumbo.
Yes, a Carlos toss, Papa, with his shooting stick. Then the headline will say, a Carlos
toss by Bum-per-sticker. Humans seem to like bumper stickers and I'll give them a
few ...