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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 5, 2018
THE PET POODLE'S PLAN
News Item: Jared Kushner, the son-in-law who plays the part of Donald Trump's pet
poodle more faithfully than any dog is now trying to block the tiny bit of aid given by
the UN Relief and Works Agency to Palestinians kicked out by Israel, and unable to
live a normal life in refugee camps or in limbo in the West Bank and Gaza.
Good boy! Good boy! Stop wagging your tail so much and fetch me that book ...
You know, for the world's first poodle-chihuahua mix you've turned out quite well:
smart and nasty ...
So, what have you done about the pesky Palestinians? You know we promised Benji
to remove that thorn from his side.
Your emails have been leaked ... Foreign Policy mag got a hold of 'em ... everyone's
saying you want to kill Palestinians babies ... I told you not to write anything down.
That way you can always call it fake news. Incredible! How did you let it happen?
Listen, let's blame it on Benji's Mossad jumping the gun ... Oh, stop wagging your tail
and begging for more cookies. I want you lean and mean.
You think blaming Mossad'll make Benji mad. Hey, I have a better idea: Lets blame it
on Iran. It'll scare the crap out of em ... they'll think we'll be sending bombers next ...
throw 'em off their stride a while.
Europeans not going along with your idea of cutting funding for that horrible UN
Relief and Work Agency. They think it'll be too disruptive -- probably afraid of more
refugees streaming in ... Well, stop looking at me and wagging your tail. Get
cracking and think of something else.
I hate it when my dogs fail me ...