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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 5, 2012
News Item: A new biography of Barack Obama covers the early years up to age 27,
before he set off for Harvard Law School. It recalls an Obama identifying as an
international first, then more American in the mainstream white space, and lastly
Flexibility, that's key, a certain ductile, limberness of mind and habit. Otherwise, the
leader remains frozen in place, unable to react, as the world moves on.
The Grand Ollama was elucidating on his success and rapid rise to leadership of all
llamas. Take my friend, Dennis the Menace (as I call him) Kusin with an "itch". He
has a permanent itch to do good. Look where it got him. Did his constituents care?
Do they appreciate him? No, the big boys and their media have him defined as a
crank, and the populace, as stupid and amenable to slogans and one-liners as ever,
believe them. There you have it. Am I going to fight them? You guess.
Remember the golden rule my friends. Them that has the gold makes the rules. So
I take a Republican health care plan much favored by the right for decades (and of
course by the insurance companies who have the gold and want more of it) and sell
it to my center left supporters as theirs. Trouble is I did such a good job even the
Republicans believed me and have turned against their own plan.
So there I was a callow youth trying to live as I am -- an international with roots all
over the globe. It got me nowhere. I embraced my mother's vicuna mores but to
them a llama is a llama is a llama. So I took up the llama ways. I was accepted, even
though growing up the closest I came to a llama was in the movies. Now here I am,
loved by llamas and not disliked by vicunas, who find my manner intuitively familiar
and also non-threatening. They should, I grew up among them.
Familiarity breeds contempt you say; I say the familiar gets the vote. Yin may go with
yang, but yin votes for yin. That's all I have to say ... except practise a big, wide smile.