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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
July 29, 2012
A SHEEP'S LAMENT
News Item: Mitt Romney's visit to London is marred by his gaffe insulting Britain. He
cast doubt on Olympic Security and readiness, saying it was "disconcerting" and
"hard to know how well it will turn out." Newspapers there respond by calling him "Mitt
If you are a Romney sheep like I am, it is wonderful to return to my ancestral home -- I
mean the Romney Marshes in Kent where many of my cousins still live. Oh! my
beloved Kent, the garden of England, not London, bustling and exciting though it may
be to you. When I say, it's not safe -- I mean it. You know what they love to eat?
Sheep. They love lamb.
And if you think the Olympics in London with its hundreds of thousands of visitors
makes me feel any safer, you must be crazy. What do you think they are gonna eat,
Well, okay, I have my Secret Service detail protecting me. But how would you feel if
your relatives were in mortal danger?
Yes, they are calling me 'Mitt the Twit', and maybe I have vacant, staring eyelashless
eyes, but that's my Romney genes. Behind the idiot face lies a huge brain -- a
Romney sheep's brain.
You'll see. I'll prove it to you in November.