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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
July 28, 2019
CARRIE ON BORIS
News Item: Boris Johnson becomes prime minister and Carrie moves into number
ten, the PM's residence. Sajid Javid the new chancellor of the exchequer moves into
#11 next door.
Are you apprehensive?
Apprehensive? As chancellor I have the job of my dreams ...
Thought you'd rather be PM.
Every politician aspires to that honor but I am happy for Boris and honored to join his
What about living next door to Boris and Carrie?
They are a charming couple ...
Til they wake up the neighborhood at their last digs ...
Oh, that mountain made out of a molehill -- not even a molehill.
Then you are not afraid of a brick sailing through the wall.
Of course not. The walls are solid I'm certain, AND I'm having them soundproofed --
strike that, strike that -- I mean waterproofed.
Why would you want them waterproofed?
Because the likes of you will soon make me have the shortest tenure ever at the
What else can you tell us about Boris and Carrie?
Oh, Boris is the nicest of people with quite a sense of humor and fun.
You mean he's a clown.
The public loves him.
They also love a circus.
Oh, come on. He's well-read, well-educated and quite capable of doing the job, and
a party majority clearly thinks so.
So how long do you think he is going to last?
I refuse to answer that question. I ... I mean your question does not merit an answer