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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 21, 2013


News Item:  Philippe I succeeds Albert II as King of Belgium after the father abdicates
due to ill health.

I may be a little dog but I am like my country ...

You mean a dog ... fighting among each other for scraps.

How dare you say that!  I mean little, but proud ... and little has advantages.  No one
wanted a big country to have the European bureaucracy, so we got it.  And Brussels
is famous as home ...

For Euroland the New Deutschland?

There you go again.  But we are generous ... I forgive you.  Today is a special day.  
We have a new king.  It's a dying breed and we are one of the few to still have one.  
Look how handsome he is like all of us including me.

And Hercule Poirot, the little detective with the little grey cells pondering
imponderables to the delight of his audience ...

Oh him!  He was not real.  But Belgian chocolates are real -- I know, I am not
supposed to eat 'em, but who cares?  And French fries ... those French they steal
everything ... we invented them ...   They should be called Belgian fries, a heavenly
delight for earthlings.

Anything else?

Well, you know we had the great big Brussels World Fair in 1958;  we still have the
Atomium left from it you can see, and of course we have Manneken Pis; we have
Ghent and beautiful Bruges and Belgian lace and ... well, it's what we don't have that
makes us special ...

What do you mean?

We don't have a navy to speak of ... or an air force, so our kings put on impressive
uniforms ... the old retiring king as a navy chief, the new one as an air force chief ...  
So everybody is happy and we don't kill anybody.  We also hold the world record of
541 days for a democracy without a government.

You may have a point ...

And which government is truthful?  Wikileaks showed that and look where is
Assange.  Which government does not spy?  Snowden showed that ...  and look
where he is ... or what's being done to Bradley Manning the Wikileaks source.

Hey, you're a pretty smart dog ...

I am Belgian.  We all have the little grey cells ...  and of course the chocolates.  And
we have our king, so we can live without a government if we need to ...