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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 19, 2020


News. Item:  Former Spanish King Juan Calos is discovered to have hidden away
hundreds of millions in offshore and Swiss banks.

Can I help it if people like me?

You mean to the tune of $100m, from the late King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.  And
you just put it in a foundation for charity?

Of course, what else could I do?  That is why people like me.

And then the whole amount was given to Corinna zu Sayn-Wittgenstein ...

Of course, I could not keep it and she is a very good friend ...

In fact your lover.

A gentleman doesn't say such things but at my age, she makes me proud.

And she says she pays for your expenses, sir, but if she were to transfer the money it
could be money laundering.

Charity begins at home.  That is why kings must be immune from prosecution.  The
trouble is these lawyers make crimes of decency and friendship between kings.

Like other millions you have received, and, I must admit, like Spain winning the
contract to build a high-speed Saudi railway from Mecca to Medina after you got the

The other millions you talk about are also mostly in a foundation. As for the contract,
my job is to help my countryand it was good for Spain.

And also for you, sir, and maybe, just maybe, even the Saudis in the price they paid.

A plus-sum game as they say.  Everybody wins.

Now your son-in-law was jailed in 2018 for fraud.

You like to bring up old stories.  When a deal goes right we are castigated by people
like you; when it goes wrong, it's jail time.  In the present world royals can't win.  Look
at England where a princess has to have a secret wedding.  What a shame?  It is like
the tyranny of the French Revolution.