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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
July 17, 2011
BROOKSCOOKS -- GOLDEN DOODLE GETS BURNED
News item: Rebekah Brooks, the Chief Executive of News International resigns
in the wake of illegal phone hacking scandal.
Yesterday I was running around
fur and feathers flying -- my fur,
your feathers ... that's the way it's
always been. Today it's different,
but I'll be back. Do you think you
can get where I am -- was -- by
playing it straight? Aw! Come on!
You can't be that green! I went
from being a secretary aged 20 at
a piddly newspaper to the youngest
editor of a major one in a dozen
years, boss of the whole lot in a few more; and Commeron, the Titanic Tuna,
the Big Enchilada eating out of my hands.
You have to get the story, no matter how. You have to sell the papers.
That's what pleases Madrock. Get it any way you can -- threats, bribes,
phone hacking, who cares -- he certainly doesn't. Just keep selling the
papers. It works. Look where I am -- er! was -- and my guy was Commeron's
press secretary and communications chief.
In Madrock's world, M stands for - not Madrock, something more important
-- money. And P doesn't mean pussyfoot. No, it stands for ... power.
"Money" and "Power" that's Madrock's world and I have to provide it. Good
at it too, plus a little on the side. You girls know what I mean, and how
things are on the fast track to the top. Don't worry, I'll be back. I've been
down under before. Rumpty Madrock loves me ... I'll be back.
Madrock (left) and Brookscooks (right)