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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
July 14, 2019
IRAN VERSUS GOLF
News Item: Jeffrey Epstein, a billionaire former buddy of Donald Trump, has been
charged with sex-trafficking minors.
Whew! That was close. How old were those damn girls he used to have at his
I don't know sir. I wasn't there.
Of course I know you weren't there. I was just thinking out loud. I remember one ...
(smiles to himself) ...
About Iran sir. The supreme leader is Ayatollah Ali Khamanei and ...
And I was just reliving a fantastic memory. Can't it wait?
Well sir he's made an important statement.
I knew they'd come around.
That's exactly it. They haven't. He does not want to deal with us at all.
Can't I have an afternoon alone. Where's Melania?
In Florida, sir.
You sent her there sir.
Oh well! Get the golf clubs. (Mumbles to himself) Maybe I shouldn't have broken up
with Epstein. But he's such a jerk. (Then to the aide) And don't forget the
cheeseburgers. Tell the club to get my suite ready. I'll be there til Monday.
Monday! But its only Tuesday now.
So what? I do my best thinking at a golf course. But first, before everything else, get
me a CHEESEBURGER!