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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
July 5, 2020
News Item: Trump speaks at Mt. Rushmore, the carved heads of four presidents
behind him, his supporters packing the amphitheater without masks like himself.
Doughnaald, you were sure wonderful. I am happy.
No empty stadium this time.
No. It was packed, Doughnaald. Of course it was small, much small, Doughnaald.
You don't have to keep saying that, Melania.
Okay, I have forgotten it, Doughnaald.
Amazing speech this time, Melania?
Amazing Doughnaald. You were fantastic, Doughnaald!
Yes, Melania. I always am.
As you spoke, I was thinking ... why you not pay someone to carve your face also up
That's funny. I was thinking the same thing.
I can imagine it. The president who fought the coronavirus and won.
Yes, I heard you say it was 99 percent beaten. But Dr. Fauci, he says ...
Don't mention that man to me. He's a fraud. An enemy agent sent to demoralize the
good and strong American people. His kind encourages these protesters. Look at
them looting and damaging everything we have stood for ... American enterprise,
American history. I won't have it. I ...
You don't have to give me speech. I hear it many time.
Okay, Melania. You know what I feel like.
Not here at the monument. No!
No. No. No. You misunderstand. What I want is a fat, juicy CHEESEBURGER ...