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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
July 1, 2018
THE BEAR'S BORZOIS
News Item: President Trump announced a meeting with Russian president Vladimir
Putin in Helsinki on July 16-17 after FIFA World Cup closing ceremonies in Moscow
on July 15. UK's Theresa May strongly opposes closer ties with Russia.
Are you going to take her to a vet or shall I?
Okay, I'll do it.
Well, doctor, she's off her food ... won't eat every since she heard the American
pit-bull is going to meet the Russian bear. He has a couple of sleek Borzois she is
jealous of ...
Oh! ... Why, she's a fine English bulldog though the upper lip seems less than stiff.
Well, doctor ... she thought she had a "special relationship" with the American pit-bull
going back many years.
Well, well, well! Plain jealousy then ...
Yes, but if she won't eat, she may die. You know she's not as young as she used to
be ... And the pit-bull calls her ... telling her the Borzois are 'beautiful', 'amazing',
'incredible' ... and he 'can't wait to meet them.'
Oh dear! That would do it. Let me see ...
Doctor, you've got to do something fast. There's a French poodle who has a thing
for older females ...
Oh the French gigolo type, eh ...
Well, I don't know doctor. But then there's a German schnauzer she can't stand who
now throws her weight about always telling her she and her kind need to work
harder. Fortunately, her American pit-bull doesn't like the schnauzer either so ...
Well, that's okay then. I understand. Keep her away from news of this international
dog and bear show and give her these pills -- two a day as it says. If things haven't
settled down by the end of the week, bring her back ...