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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
June 30, 2019
News Item: Trump becomes the first US president to walk over the DMZ into North
Korea. He visits Kim Jong Un.
Meow! Welcome! I am glad we are meeting.
Meow! Meow! So am I. It wasn't a long jump from where I was.
Oh yes, the so-called 'Big Cats'. I could claw them and blow them up in no time.
You wouldn't do that. You are one of the nicest cats I know. By the way, what are
Oh, special North Korean breed. You won't even find us in South Korea. Very
special fur trim. What about you?
I think I am a cross between a Persian and a tabby.
Sure explains your orange fur and why you're cross with the Persians.
You mean Iran. Oh there are lots of reasons. But let's not talk about that. We're
here to talk peace.
Of course we are. Have some catnip. Had it flown over from the hills ... particularly
succurunt, I mean succulent.
Yes, yes! Delicious. I'll have some more.
Of course. I am sending a big crate with you.
Say, I've noticed, not many dogs around.
That's easy. We had a famine. We ate them up.
Amazing! Much safer now, eh?
Yes much safer. We also have no crime. Very safe country.
Fantastic! Now about this deal ...
Your fur is remarkable ... must be the tabby. Have more catnip.
Listen! About this deal. You're not stalling are you?
No! No! We talk some more. Have more catnip. Good. We resume talks. No more
catnip, thanks. I'd love a cheeseburger though.
Cheeseburger! You'll get in the South, your part of Korea. We are all gourmets here