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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
June 26, 2016


New Item:  Boris Johnson, former London mayor and MP for Uxbridge, was a
late-comer to the winning 'Leave' campaign.  His father Stanley was on the opposing
'Remain' side.

Not good enough, Boris.  People are saying you have been an opportunist trying to
woo the 'Leave' backbenchers in Parliament even if 'Leave' loses, and now after the
unlikely victory a shot immediately at being Prime Minister.

Your side lost, Father.  It must be Grandpa Osman Kemal's Turkish genes, that I
have this raging Turk inside of me.

With yellow hair!

Where did you get that dye anyway?   You look like overcooked spaghetti squash.  
Anyway, you know very well, Great Grandma changed his name to Johnson.

Doesn't take away the genes, Pater.

Stop calling me that.  You've been around your toff friends too long.  What the hell
are you going to be?  The whole world probably hates having lost a couple of trillion
dollars in one day across the globe.  Think of all the pension fund losses.  One of
those old geezers is going to do to you what that crackpot did to poor Jo Cox.

I can take care of myself.  You seriously think some old fart can stab me ...

No, but I'll tell you something ... you'll be getting a lot more refugees soon.  The
Mayor of Calais says since we are no longer in the EU, she doesn't have any
obligation to hold the refugees there if they want to go to England.

"We shall fight them on the beaches.  We shall fight them ... "

Churchill was talking about German soldiers you git.

I know Dad.  I wrote a book about him ...

So why did you misquote him all the time to support your 'Leave' campaign.

Politics is politics, Father.

Boris Not-Godunov, that's you.

Didn't know you liked opera, Dad ...